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Showing posts from December, 2016

Domestic Violence Playlist

Top 10 REASONS To Stay With An Abuser

Hello my lovely viewers and welcome to another interesting topic about domestic violence. As women, there are very few of us who immediately pack our bags at the first sign of trouble. Do any of these reasons that I share in this video resonate with you? It's some of these ridiculous reasons that we convince ourselves exist and which forces us not to take action.  Perhaps you've been in denial of the reasons why you choose to remain with an aggressor.

Being Friends With Abusive Ex

Good day my lovelies and how have you been keeping? I know that my blog has been receiving some attention and by that I know that someone out there is benefiting from my story. Now, I also know that speaking about these issues in public can be very scary(I'm not stupid) or you may even feel ashamed to share your experiences, but I do truly believe that a problem shared is a problem truly halved. Just as I share my story with you, your story may resonate with someone even more than mine does. We just have to speak up about this issue to help save another life - especially where children are involved. If you are happy to remain quiet whilst reading my post, I totally understand that too. Please do hang around as I love having you here. The questions today is: Should I Be Friends With My Abusive Ex? Has this question ever crossed your mind? What were your initial thoughts? Did your final decision differ to your initial thoughts? Thank you for simply taking the time to

Do Him A BIG Favour

Hello my YouTube Family. I hope that you had a safe and sound Christmas with those that you love and respect...and vice versa. I'll leave you with a simple phrase whilst you watch the video: Love Does Not Hurt

Money Problems = The BIG 'D"

Here I am at at a public speaking engagement called the Networking Mixer where I briefly talked about domestic violence. NB - I do apologise for the poor footage as the reception on the night was poor. I addressed the following key points: 1 ) what is domestic violence? 2) how does domestic violence start? 3) what are the myths of domestic violence? 4) effects of domestic violence on the sufferer? 5) My own story of getting out of a violent relationship?  I attribute the cause of domestic violence in my relationship to be deeply rooted in the severe money issues we had. So what is the solution? 1) Seek professional financial help and solve the root of the problem. 2) Seek professional help with managing one's emotions 3) Don't repeat the same mistakes. 4) Consciously find ways to heal. 5) And if all else fails? 6) Get out of there for the sake of your security and sanity - especially if kids are involved. I was asked the question - so how and w

Where Is The Freebie

I will always be honest with you on this blog and simply tell you the truth...I'm still working on the freebie. My sincere apologies for the delay and I hope that you will forgive me as I promise, it will be well worth the wait. I'm a bit of a perfectionist(that's what has been causing the delay), and before you say it, I know that no such thing exists. Perfectionism is simply a state of MIND So now that I've got that out of the way, I hope that you are keeping healthy and strong. I would like to leave you with this mantra: It is your right not to allow anyone else take away your safety and sanity.  Have a fantastic day and be safe.  Oh, in case you aren't aware, I also have a blog  where I teach money literacy and share my story of how problems with finances was a contributing factor to the violence I suffered in my relationship.

Stay Safe During The Festive Holidays

Hello my strong minded people and how has life been treating you? By the time you read this post, we'll be just 3 days away from Christmas 2016 - wow, what a year it has been. How has your year been so far? I really would love to hear from you, so please don't be too shy to reach out to me. The holidays is a time when you may find yourself stuck and in close proximity with your abuser. I want you to know that things can quite quickly get out of hand what with the eating, drinking and merriment. It is also the time of the year when a large number of domestic problems escalate. I have included the photo above which I want you to use as an encouragement to speak out about your plight. Perhaps you are reading this blog and you've already escaped and managed to do so during a festive season like this - I would love to hear a word of encouragement from you in the comments box. I am considering using the photo in this blog for the cover of an ebook I'm p

He Pulled A Knife On Me!!!

Hello readers and supporters alike. I hope that you have been doing quite well. As promised a few days ago, here is a video sharing my story with you. When you live with or marry someone who later becomes someone that you don't recognise, their actions will be one of the first things that is noticeable. Their behaviour becomes unpredictable - sometimes even to the point of wondering whether they have lost their mind. I live to tell the tale, as there are simply no words in the dictionary to fully describe how I felt. The heart of man can be so so evil. How can a man who professes to love his wife suddenly see her as an object to control and abuse? Perhaps that man was always like that and simply suppressed their feelings long enough. I'll drop my pen for now and we'll catch up very soon.

10 Reasons Why I Stayed In An Abusive Relationship

Howdy and what have you been up to lately? Have you missed the videos? I sure have missed them. The videos will be back soon, so look out for the video on the topic of this post. Yes, I made my own excuses as we always find a good excuse as to why we need to stay in an abusive rather than get out of it. Although I do not advocate leaving a relationship over a little argument or misunderstanding, but I wholeheartedly advocate fleeing an abusive relationship where you live and any dependents lives are in grave danger. If you do not escape, you will forever blame yourself and the guilt alone can quite easily cause you much more anguish than the abusive relationship. I hope you will stick around and watch the video on my reasons for staying - although I have since left the relationship. The next blogpost/video will be an interesting topic and I will be offering a FREEBIE to tie in nicely with the topic of this post. Thanks so much.

What Is My Personal Story About Domestic Violence

Hi and how are you doing today? Can I assume that it's been a good one for you today? If not, you can use the comment box below to rant a little. I won't mind as I know that there are days you just want to scream out. So, today, we are taking a break from the videos and I'm posting instead. I want you to know that just like you, I have a story to share - and share I will. As a sufferer of rheumatoid arthritis(RA) which affects the dexterity in my hands, videos and live streaming works much better for me. Believe it or not, I also type at the speed of lightning - as I learnt to type about 30 years ago using the old fashioned typewriter(also learnt shorthand...although I doubt anyone still uses shorthand these days). Therefore, even though we are taking a break from the videos, I will be posting a video of my personal story. Look out for the video. I am wishing you a great day from the very bottom of my heart and thanks for being here with me. NB - maybe one d

Toxic Relationship - Get Out Of It PLEASE

Hello everyone, welcome back to another video and I hope you are enjoying these videos. I would love to hear your feedback on the videos. It means a lot to me to interact with you and despite my ordeal with domestic violence, I am extrovert and I love networking with people. It is the one thing that I was able to keep hold of during that horrible period of my life - although it wasn't enough to keep me sufficiently sane. I thank you sincerely from the very bottom of my heart for taking time to watch the video. I'm sharing my story to help at least 1 person out there.

Spoken Words - You, They And She

Hello my dearest readers, please join me in enjoying thee spoken words which were written by me. If you would like me post the words from the video in a blogpost, leave a comment below and I'll be happy to do so. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Are you a poet on the subject of domestic violence? Please kindly leave a comment below as I would love to follow you and support. Thanks for watching and supporting me to support you.

Domestic Violence Doesn't Exist...In Nigeria

Hello my dearest and nearest, how have you been doing? I hope all has been going fairly well and if it hasn't know that I already have you in my prayers. Today, I am sharing a Vlog from my YouTube channel. The topic doesn't only apply to women from Nigeria. It applies to anyone who comes from a culture where discussing domestic violence is seen as a taboo subject.

Dating After A Cracked Cheekbone

Hello and I hope that you are or have had a super great day. If your day hasn't been that great, not to worry, there's light at the end of the tunnel - I promise you. I was once where you are right now, but where there is a will, there is most certainly hope. In this video, I share more of my personal experiences from a violent previous relationship. Stay focused and please do not lose track of the life that you've always desired for yourself. Please do exercise patience with the hair chitchat at the beginning of the video as talking about this issue can still be very painful for me - so having a lighthearted chat about anything else helps me to ease myself into the conversation. Thank you for watching the video and reading this blogpost, but more importantly, my prayer for you is that you get something from the video.

Tell Somebody, Tell Anyone, Tell Me

Hello readers, I hope that you find this video inspirational and that it encourages you to speak up. There is no time like the present to tell someone about your plight especially as the holiday season is upon us and you may be dreading being in the same space as your aggressor. I know that you may feel ashamed about discussing your private business with an outsider, but a problem shared is a problem halved. Stay strong and know that when I write, I write from a place of both pain and elation.

Don't Be Afraid To Speak Up

Hello my dear readers and followers, I would like to share my story of how I came to be taking part in this event where I will be a guest speaker as a Domestic Violence Survivor and Advocate. The host of this event Richard Oluyinka happened to be live streaming on Facebook on the subject of men who are abusive towards their wives. He was so authentic and passionate about the issue and his energy was so touching and heartfelt.  I wasn't actually a follower of Richard on Facebook - however, another friend of mine was already friends with Richard and she knew my domestic violence story. She shared Richards' video with via Facebook. Anyway, I watched the replay of Richards' video and I took that leap of faith and made several comments as I was just so loving his take on the matter.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to my very first blogpost on here. As a way quick way of introduction, this platform will be used to share all things lifestyle, but focusing on an area very near and dear to me. I am so delighted to be able to share an aspect of my life which was very traumatic, but which I sincerely hope will inspire someone out there. As a survivor of domestic violence, it is never just enough to feel that one has survived a terrible ordeal, instead, I am obligated to share my story with the rest of the world to help protect other soon-to-become survivors out there. As Christmas is upon us, this is a time where families spend a lot of time together, and during this period, the odd argument may creep in over the silliest issue - subsequently resulting in domestic incidents. That's it from me for now and I'm looking forward to sharing my story with the rest of the world. Oh, I forgot to say that my is Deborah.