Oh Gosh! I Took Out A Loan For My Husband....What Have I Done?

 

Not gender-specific

Just like washing dishes is no longer gender-specific. Let's kick off by stating a fact! It isn't only women who have been known to take out loans on behalf of their beloved "belusted"(a word I coined) spouse. Men have done the very same too. 

Later on, I'll get into why I'm focusing on women in this post**. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get to the meat of the matter.

Reasons Why Women Do It

1. Empathy: the emotions of others, especially that of a spouse can easily affect a woman to the point of being caring just because.....because she fails to see it as people-pleasing. **one of the reasons why I'm focusing on women as I mentioned earlier**.
2. Acceptance: a new relationship does all sorts of weird and wonderful things to a woman. Wanting to be accepted as a caring wife plays a big role in why you'll find yourself agreeing to such a huge ask.
3. Fear: of being criticised or rejected as an unsupportive wife. Oh, that guilt trip a woman puts on herself is awful.

The Perfect Money Conversation

Welcome back to another post. I hope that you are doing really well. 

In today's message, I am going over a topic I have spoken about in the past but from a different angle.

It's useful whether you are in a heterosexual or same gender relationship. 

I have ten great questions you can ask and a bonus question too.

1. Have you ever gone bankrupt in the past and how did this happen?
2. Have you ever checked your credit score and if so, what has been your highest and lowest scores?
3. How do you plan your financial future?
4. Are you a risk taker when it comes to your money?
5. What types of investment plans do you currently have?
6. How many credit cards do you have and what are the balances on each of them?
7. Do you have any outstanding loans including student loans?
8. If you found yourself in a financial pothole, would you consider seeking help from a professional?
9. Have you ever held a joint bank account with an ex, friend or family and if so, how well was it managed by all parties?
10. Do you get angry or violent when loved ones tell you that you are being frivolous with your money. And 1 final bonus question.

Economic Violence

I finally misplaced the article I wanted to link in this post. Never mind, I can speak on it from my heart.

It's a time of self reflection! So, I'll keep this one very short. 

Is your answer to the next question, yes or no ?

Are you being preyed on because you are economically disadvantaged?

Until next time,

Much 💜

Deborah

Maximise Your Settlement During a Legal Separation

I've been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time. I was waiting to gather more real life examples of the experiences of real people,

At this point, I'm going to focus on speaking to women because I want us as women to learn the power in letting go of that anger and frustration which comes with legal separation and divorce.

If you are a gentleman reading this, then, I hope you'll be pleased with what I have to say. Please do share you thoughts below if anything I say resonates with you. Thank you.
How often have you heard couples who are going through, or have been through a bitter separation talk about both parties agreeing amicably?

I know that there are a handful of cases, however, it's quite natural to feel aggrieved whenever a relationship ends - for whatever reason it. Adultery or infidelity probably ranks very high as one of the culprit of adding to the level of rage experienced by one or both parties.

Here is the thing ladies. Get angry. Get mad. Scream. Cry. Lament. Seek sympathy. Once you've done all of that, dust yourself down and eat some humble pie! Yep, I said it, eat some humble pie. It'll save you lot of money in the long run.

There will come a time when you need to have a discussion about settling on things such as properties or assets with financial value. At the same time, you'll have your legal team who's ready to argue on your behalf.

It's the job of your legal team to defend your case in court. What I'm about to say is NOT to put any legal professional out of pocket. Rather, it's to help one woman(or more) maximise her settlement when it's all over and done with. 

Ladies, if you know in your heart of hearts that you can afford to split the settlement 50/50, then do so. 

Your sanity is more important than walking away with 70%. More importantly, your legal team wants you to argue about the split. The more you argue, the more paperwork is generated. The more you are charged for the work that your legal team is doing. Of course, you could quite easily receive an 80% share in the long run. It's time to do the maths! 

Fair Debt Sunmit

Being a Guest at the recent Fair Debt Summit which is the brainchild of Councillor Shane Hebb. Thank you. I am elated you thoroughly enjoyed my very short and sweet session.

Can A Man Be a Feminist?

Hello and good day to you. Welcome to another blog post. Our focus today isn't on any arguments about what feminism is or isn't. Instead, it is about the great lesson I learnt recently from a great friend of mine. We got into a conversation about the issues women have to face in various areas of our lives.

Then he said, do you know I am a feminist? My jaw dropped - although he couldn't see my jaw as we were talking over the phone. My response was one of intrigue as I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say. How so is all I could really say.

At this point in this post, let me just say that I have never really taken the time to educate myself in what the word feminism really means. I hear so many negative connotations about the word. I often wondered if I was considered a feminist based on the issues that I talk about - who knows. 

You see, my friend explained it to me in very simple terms that made so much sense. Here is what he said in a nutshell. It is really about the following:

1. Equality of rights for women - that's fair enough I thought.
2. Inclusion of women in areas where they may be excluded or marginalised - another very fair definition.
3. Fairness in the treatment of women - what more could be further from the truth.

So, there is it in plain English. Anyway, we continued our very deep and interesting conversation and found ourselves talking about how some women are treated unfairly(by both male and sometimes what I call he/she bosses) when they need to take time off work due to childbirth and maternity leave, menstrual problems or pregnancy.

Guess what my response to this part of the conversation was?

Should Women Invest Differently To Men?

Money Literacy Educator

As a woman helping and teaching women who have experienced domestic abuse the simple ways to create wealth for them, this topic such an interesting one.

It's very easy for me as a single mum to use the excuse that as a woman, I need to invest differently to man. Why?

Start Early - if you can

From a young age, investment was discussed in my home by my late father. My dad was the only man in our household - as he had 2 daughters.  I invest so that I can create a financially safe future for my children and I. I also invest for the future education of my children as I DO NOT want them to have to borrow money for their education. I also invest as the job market is very risky right now - with there being no job for life. Ultimately, I would like to live off of my investments when the time comes to retire from the hustle and bustle.

Financial Adviser or Not

I've never actually had a long term financial adviser, therefore, the issue of not been able to fully communicate and comprehend my investment needs has never risen. This is not to say that I don't appreciate that it can be a mind field when it comes to understanding many of the investment options out there.